Tony Elumelu’s response to a young woman who called him “Tony” sparks debate over respect, hierarchy and changing workplace culture in Nigeria.

A young woman’s “Good morning, Tony” to UBA Group Chairman Tony Elumelu has sparked a wider conversation about respect, hierarchy and changing workplace culture in Nigeria.

A brief exchange at the graduation ceremony of United Bank for Africa’s Graduate Management Accelerated Programme (GMAP), held in Lagos on Thursday, August 20, has reignited a familiar question in Nigeria: is calling someone by their first name disrespectful?

The moment occurred during an interactive session, where Elumelu was addressing graduates of the programme. A female graduate stood up to ask a question and began with, “Good morning, Tony.” Elumelu initially appeared to mishear her, responding, “Toyin? Toyin?” But after she clarified that she had said “Tony,” he corrected her. “You’ll call me Mr Elumelu or TOE,” he told her, adding that he did not subscribe to that kind of “Oyinbo life.” The graduate then addressed him as “Mr Elumelu” before continuing with her question.

The exchange quickly circulated online, with Nigerians divided over whether the young woman had crossed a line or simply followed a modern workplace culture and over whether the same person can reasonably be “Tony” in one room and “Mr Elumelu” in another.

Was she actually wrong?

One of the most interesting perspectives came from Innocent Istifanus Moses, a former UBA employee who said he had completed the same GMAP programme. Moses argued that the graduate was “not entirely wrong,” explaining that participants in the programme were taught to address colleagues by their first names, regardless of rank. According to him, trainers even used senior executives as examples when explaining the policy.

That argument was echoed by some social media users. One X user, Tosin.X, defended the trainee, writing: ““The lady did nothing wrong. If I guess right she’s a graduate of their Graduate Training program. Anyone who once pass through that system knows they’re trained to call people by their first name”

For people who share this view, the incident is less about disrespect and more about workplace culture. If an organisation teaches young employees that hierarchy should not determine how colleagues address one another, it is understandable that a graduate might carry that practice into a public interaction.

“Read the room”

Some Nigerians felt that whatever the workplace policy might be, the setting called for a more formal approach. Jide Akintunde questioned the correction, arguing that Elumelu’s first name has long been central to his public identity, and suggested that publicly correcting a trainee could have been humiliating given the difference in status between them.

Others were less sympathetic to the trainee. Maryanne Moghalu described the greeting as inappropriate, arguing that people should generally begin formally with senior colleagues and wait for permission before switching to first names. Another user, Ajokeee, pointed to the setting itself, arguing that addressing the chairman of a major organisation at a formal event as “Tony” was too casual. Dr Dípò Awójídé also defended the more traditional approach, saying he would not call Elumelu by his first name if he met him. “I will add Mr. I would also bow, because of his age,” he wrote. He argued that the training school should teach graduate trainees the organisation’s culture and hierarchy. “In Rome, behave like the Romans. And whenever you are in doubt, remember that respect is a big element of Nigerian culture,” he added.” he wrote, arguing that corporate training should take organisational culture and hierarchy into account.

Nigeria has a strong culture of deference toward elders and those in positions of authority, one where first-name address can still be read as disrespect even after being explicitly invited. But that culture is shifting, particularly among younger professionals in organisations that deliberately encourage less hierarchical communication and some online pointed to the inconsistency in how the rule gets applied. X user Romi questioned why junior employees can casually call older support staff by their first names while senior executives receive a far more formal address. Another user, Olawoleaa, recalled working at Stanbic IBTC, where some senior employees preferred colleagues to use their first names.

The disagreement, then, may not really be about whether first names are respectful or disrespectful at all, it may be about context, permission and personal preference. If a manager says, “Call me Tony,” using the first name is unlikely to be disrespectful. If that permission was never given, some people will consider it safer to begin formally and in Nigeria, age and social position can make that distinction even more significant.

What makes the Elumelu moment different?

An older video of a Stanford student addressing Elumelu as “Hi Tony” has resurfaced online following the recent controversy. The Stanford interaction took place in an informal academic setting, while the UBA exchange happened during a formal programme involving young professionals a contrast that has prompted some to arguethe same person can reasonably be ‘Tony’ in one setting and ‘Mr Elumelu’ in another., not because either form of address is inherently disrespectful, but because different environments carry different expectations.

So, is it disrespectful?

Not necessarily. Calling someone by their first name is not automatically disrespectful what matters is whether the person is comfortable with it, what the workplace culture permits, and the context of the interaction. For some Nigerians, titles such as “Sir” and “Ma” remain an important way of showing courtesy, particularly toward older people or senior executives. For others, respect is measured by how people treat one another rather than the titles they use.

The Elumelu incident has exposed the tension between those two approaches: traditional Nigerian respect on one side, a more informal first-name workplace culture on the other.

And perhaps the bigger question for modern Nigerian workplaces is this, when an organisation teaches employees that everyone is a colleague, does that culture apply equally to the person at the very top?