By Fattyma Zahra Ibrahim and Zainab Nasreen Muhammad
Child sexual abuse in Nigeria is not a gendered issue; it is a national crisis that affects boys as well. According to UNICEF reports and the Situation Analysis of Children and Adolescents in Nigeria (2024), approximately 1 in 10 Nigerian boys experienced sexual violence before the age of 18. The same report indicates that 6 out of 10 children in Nigeria have experienced some form of abuse overall.
Global estimates, based on data from Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN), an international nonprofit anti-sexual assault organisation, about 1 in 20 boys suffer sexual abuse during childhood. A study among Male Secondary School Adolescents in Ibadan, Nigeria, found that almost 30% of non-contact sexual abuse cases and over 40% of contact sexual abuse cases reported by boys involved female perpetrators, challenging the assumption that abuse is almost exclusively male-perpetrated.
Yes, girls statistically face higher prevalence rates, but these numbers still represent thousands of Nigerian boys whose experiences are often minimised or dismissed. An online scandal featuring popular Nigerian musician Simi made its way to The Daily Circular newsroom, and alongside my colleague, Zainab, we believed it best to put our thoughts into writing.
Zainab: In the now-viral 2012 tweet from her X account, a 23-year-old Simi wrote about a four-year-old having a crush on her and acting like he wanted a kiss.
On the surface, this may read like a playful statement, the kind of exaggerated humor people once tossed onto the internet without imagining it would live forever. But these days, we are learning that language does not exist in a vacuum. In today’s cultural climate, phrases like “lock lips” and “give him a chance,” when attached to a four-year-old child, immediately shift the tone. What may have once been framed as teasing or shitposting becomes unsettling when revisited through contemporary lenses.
Fattyma: Regardless of intent, the phrasing struck Nigerians as uncomfortable and disturbing because it involved the sexualisation of a minor, but many online reactions quickly shifted into defense mode, contextualising, or framing the controversy as a gender war.
Zainab: When Simi addressed the controversy, she tried to situate them in time. This reminds me of the new “accountability-seeking” documentary about the controversial reality TV show, America’s Next Top Model. Created by famous model Tyra Banks. The show was full of heinous acts and moments that were seemingly normalised in the mainstream than they are today. Of course, Tyra Banks, the other judges and producers of the show defended these acts with the same sentence, “It was a different time.” But does the time matter when we’re talking about possible abuse?
Simi explained that in 2012, she was 23, living at home, helping out at her mother’s daycare while chasing her music career. Twitter, then, was less curated, less policed. Many young adults live-tweeted their days with little foresight. “Nothing I tweeted was from perversion,” she said. “I’ve never been depraved in my life.”
Fattyma: That context may explain the tone, but it does not erase the substance. When it comes to sexual comments involving minors, there is no harmless era. At the time those tweets were made, she was an adult in her early twenties. That shouldn’t be an excuse, she was old enough to take accountability.
Zainab: And this is where the conversation becomes layered. Because even if she said those words, it was, in many ways, a different digital era. Social media in 2012 did not operate under the same moral surveillance it does now. Humor was looser. Boundaries were less explicitly articulated. The internet had not yet developed the collective sensitivity it now holds around power, consent, and sexuality. I think this context matters. It does not excuse behaviour, but it matters.
I have seen many opinions like mine, but just like Fattyma has rightly pointed out, a 23-year-old is not a teenager, and even in 2012, certain lines were widely understood. Describing a four-year-old in romanticised language unsettles people not because they are looking for scandal, but because we have become more careful about the language used around children, and rightly so. Just like James Baldwin said, “The children are always ours, every single one of them.” We have a moral duty to protect children.
What I’m about to say next may upset many, but I think that the reason many Nigerians (read as men) are infuriated about Simi’s tweets is because they feel like they can finally prove a point. The “not all men” point and the “men get abused too” point. They are just glad that they can finally have a gotcha! moment with a woman that seems so self-righteous. These people do not care about any of the children who were at the daycare.
Fattyma: Au contraire! Just last year, in November, old tweets involving Ezra Olubi, co-founder of Paystack, one of Nigeria’s most prominent fintechs, resurfaced. These tweets also showed explicit and suggestive content, including sexualised remarks, jokes about rape, references to minors and other offensive topics tweeted within the same time period from 2009-2013. Just like Simi’s case, these posts were seen as harmful, misogynistic and criminal in tone, with many people calling for consequences beyond public criticism. Paystack terminated his employment, and he deactivated his X account.
While the specifics of each case may differ, the reaction disparity raises an uncomfortable question. If a man had publicly tweeted comments perceived as sexualising a four-year-old, would the public debate revolve around context and jokes, or would he already be socially and professionally condemned without hesitation?
Zainab: I agree, nuance is important. I acknowledge that this conversation would likely, DEFINITELY, feel different if it were about a man. People call it a double standard; I call it reality. In my opinion, that is not hypocrisy; it is history. Men, statistically and historically, are responsible for the overwhelming majority of sexual violence. Globally, 85-95% of all reported sexual assaults are committed by men. Male perpetrators are responsible for 97% of sexual assaults against children. This is not an accusation against any individual man, but a reflection of patterns documented across societies. Because of this, when a man uses language that appears to romanticise a child, alarm bells ring louder.
That does not mean women cannot cause harm. They can. It does mean, however, that public reaction is filtered through centuries of gendered violence. A woman making an inappropriate joke does not carry the same historical weight as a man making the same statement.
Fattyma: This is not a gender war. Yes, statistically, more women report experiences of sexual abuse. But it is also true that boys and young men are not raised to speak openly about abuse, which may contribute to underreporting among male victims. Acknowledging male vulnerability does not diminish female suffering. Both truths can coexist. But when inappropriate statements about minors are excused because the speaker is a woman, we risk reinforcing the dangerous myth that women cannot be perpetrators or that the abuse of boys is less important.
Children do not experience abuse through a political lens. A little boy may not even realise when something inappropriate is happening. Society often teaches boys to laugh things off, to either interpret troubling situations as men or to remain silent. Some grown men later come to recognise that what they experienced as children was traumatic.
This is why re-education is crucial in families, in schools, and especially in public discourse. Children must be taught to distinguish between normal affection and inappropriate behaviour. They must be encouraged to speak when something feels wrong. And to do this, adults must be held to a consistent standard.
We have to focus on the issue, not the person or gender. When inappropriate statements about children surface, whether from the past or present, they must be addressed with clarity and seriousness. Because when society normalises or excuses discomfort involving children, the cycle goes unchecked. And children are the ones who pay the price.
Zainab: Beyond the political discourse, my stance is clear. We must protect victims, potential victims, and children especially. I hope this case is investigated because all that truly matters is preventing these crimes, and when that fails, punishing the perpetrators of said crimes.
Fattyma: When we fight for rights, we must fight for all rights. All children matter. Accountability should not fluctuate depending on popularity, gender, or fan loyalty. If a woman commits an offence against a child, her gender should not shield her from scrutiny. The law should take its course. If a man does the same, the standard should be identical. Protecting children means refusing selective outrage and selective forgiveness.
